“Okay, you’re going to feel a small pinch…”
There was a small pinch. And another one, and another one, and another one. Then time seems to skip.
“Okay, you’ll feel some vibrations and hear some noise. If there is any sharpness, please let me know.”
“Have yous tarted the gas already?”
The assistant smiles and nods. Everything is very floaty and I giggle a bit. Breath deep through your nose, not through your mouth. Your legs are shaking, try wiggling them or they’ll cramp up. The doctor doesn’t use a very good razor does he?
“Okay, can I have the sharpie?”
It’s really loud. Boy that light is bright, bright enough for me to see the weaving on the doctor’s scrubs. The stubble stands out on his jaw and neck like tiny black tree trunks on chocolate.
“Okay, and now the bee.”
More noise. I can’t hear myself think. You’re breathing through your mouth again, breath through your nose. Long, slow breaths. The legs are shaking again. Seems to happen every time with the noise. My knees and wrists feel heavy, maybe that’s why my legs are shaking. Long, slow breaths.
“Okay, now the sharpie.”
This low pitched squealing is going to deafen me, if the oven in the coffee shop doesn’t. The weaving in the scrubs stands out. I must look goofy, with my tongue lolling around in my head, my eyes rolling upward to stare at the small blue mounds of the weaving. They are like tiny blue foot hills leading into a brown and black forest.
“Okay, Erin, now you are going to hear some crunching and popping noises.”
Breath deeper. Sounds just like when you got your braces in. Breath deeper, long, slow breaths. The mask is annoying as it lays against my cheek. It’s bigger and more clumsy than I thought it would be.
“Now the large.”
I wonder where we’ll head off to after this. Maybe out to dinner, but I won’t be able to have much. I can’t wait to play on Lord of the Rings Online. I need to make a dwarf Guardian. I feel floaty again, but at the same time, my wrists and knees still feel heavy.
“Okay, now Erin, we’ll have to ask you to close your eyes for this part.”
I do so, and feel dry spaghetti being pulled across my lip, once twice, thrice, and then a short tug.
“Okay, we’re all finished. Let’s get you into the oxygen.”
Breath deep. Everything is numb on my left side.
“Well, I was expecting it to be a difficult extraction, but it went much better than I thought.” The doctor crosses his arms. “We’ll probably look into taking the upper two out, then later at taking out the lower right. We’ll go over some rules for when you get home, and get some prescriptions ready for you. I do not want you to go home and go to sleep. You need to pick up the medications and take them with some food on your stomach. Are there any questions?”
“Okay, we’ll schedule you for a followup exam to see how everything is coming along. Have a god day.” He smiles and leaves as the asssitant turns and starts going over a lot of the procedures that I can’t remember.
“Don’t worry, I have everything I just said written down here,” and she holds up a piece of paper.
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